


Some Days Are Softer

by Emma_Please



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adjusting to modern time, Adorable Steve Rogers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers already happened, Bucky might come in, F/M, Fighting, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Howard Stark isn't a complete dick, Hurt/Comfort, I have other stories sorry, Light-Hearted, Like they aren't just gonna jump each other, M/M, Man Out of Time, Mentions of War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad, Slow Burn, Swearing, The pairing isn't the biggest part of it, This is mostly for me so updates might be iffy, kind of funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 15:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12038589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emma_Please/pseuds/Emma_Please
Summary: Tony Stark grows up with a love for Captain America rather than resentment.Later, just before his death, Howard- and isn’t that depressing, that Tony doesn’t even call him ‘dad’ anymore- tells him one last story about Captain America. Except this story isn’t about some heroic move or pure, wholesome act. It’s the story of how Steve Rogers punched Howard Stark in the jaw and told him that being an asshole would get him nowhere.Tony likes that story best.(Or in which Captain America is found by Tony after the Battle of Manhattan, Tony Stark grows with less resentment, and the rest of the Avengers are as resigned as they are excited)Inspired by Gospel Stonemad's "The Price" on ff.net





	Some Days Are Softer

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Price](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/321795) by Gospel Stonemad. 



> Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers or Marvel and am not making a profit off this. 
> 
> This story was born after I read Gospel Stonemad's story "The Price", in which Steve is found after the Avengers happen. Read that story, it's really good. If Gospel Stonemad has a problem with this story I will take it down. Nothing is copied from that story, I was just inspired by the idea. 
> 
> Also, this has nothing to do with any of the other Avengers movies, so yeah...  
> All my mistakes in grammar and punctuation are mine, and (nice) criticism is welcome.

Tony Stark is seven and impressionable when his father regales him with the story of Captain America and of the man beneath the suit: Steve Rogers.

He soaks the stories in like he does with the science and engineering textbooks from the school library. They mystify him, leave him feeling bright and amazed. His father speaks of Steve Rogers with a tone of pride and, strangely, sorrow. At the time, Tony doesn’t quite know what it means- but he will much, much later.

Steve Rogers becomes something of a security blanket that sits tight around his shoulders when the older kids bully him, when they shove him around and call him names.

_Captain America did it, and so will I._  

Captain America is kind and brave and larger than life. He symbolizes everything Tony wants to be; everything Tony will be.

That dream falls when his father misses his tenth birthday and he’s left with the image of his mother saying goodbye to him as she goes out with her friends for the day. The only one left is Jarvis, who makes him a cake and rubs his shoulders while he tries to hold the tears in.

Later at night, way past his bed time, Tony holds the picture of Captain America in his shaking hands and tells himself that maybe if he were like Captain America his parents would like him better.

His father and mother miss every birthday after that as well. So, Tony drowns out the sorrow with creating complex machines and when that doesn’t work, he steals a bottle of tequila from his father’s cabinet and chokes it down with the tears. 

One night, after a particularly bad fight between his parents, he goes out and finds himself a pretty little thing to take home.

Sex and booze are his closest friends. Aside from Jarvis and the old, polished picture of Captain America.

It’s not so bad, being alone and flat out drunk. It takes away the thoughts and lets him create on autopilot. It also garners the attention of the media, and soon enough his parents are casting him disapproving looks. Tony doesn’t give a fuck, though, because really, it’s partly their fault and some sort of punishment is due.

Later, just before his death, Howard- and isn’t that depressing, that Tony doesn’t even call him ‘dad’ anymore- tells him one last story about Captain America. Except this story isn’t about some heroic move or pure, wholesome act. It’s the story of how Steve Rogers punched Howard Stark in the jaw and told him that being an asshole would get him nowhere.

Tony likes that story best.

Howard also tells him about the search for Captain America and how he still hasn’t been found. Tony will never forget the guilt laid bared in front of him.

“And I gave up. I stopped looking for him, and now what? Am I gonna live with this forever?”

Turns out Howard doesn’t have to live with it for any longer because two weeks later he and his wife die in a fatal car crash.

Tony’s eyes are dry during the funeral and only slightly wet when he inherits the company.

Stark Industries does well for itself and soon enough he’s creating some of the most incredible weaponry on the planet. That doesn’t help with the bitter taste clogging his throat but he lives with it.

Sex and booze are still his best friends. Well, aside from Rhodey and Pepper and Jarvis.

Afghanistan happens.

Iron Man happens.

Lots of things happen.

Somewhere in the middle of all the madness and fear, Tony feels like he might be dying. He flings himself into working on the suit, making modifications, adding updates to Jarvis.

Soon enough, there’s nothing left to do, and his romantic relationship with Pepper has slowly fallen back to what it was before, leaving him aching.

He falls further into the nightmares and curses life, because God-forbid, even after all this shit, that things would become easier. PTSD is the last nail in the coffin and Tony deteriorates in his living room. He throws champagne glasses at the walls and screams himself hoarse into the night when no one can hear him.

Tony wakes up the next morning laying on his back, surrounded by shards of glass, and with a determination that leaves him confused and blazing.

The next few weeks are passed by with him sifting through all of his father’s collections and files until his nose is clogged with dust and he’s sneezed maybe thirteen times. Finally, he finds the file with Captain America’s smiling face on it and Howard’s messy, yet elegant, handwriting.

Operation find Captain America and get his life on track is a go.

It’s far easier said than done.

Looking through his father’s findings is simple, and hacking into shield is even more so. What isn’t simple is deciding exactly how he’s going to go about finding the good Captain and what going to happen after he finds him. Tony wants to say he’ll give the man a public, wonderful funeral, but something in his gut says that Captain America- that Steve Rogers- wouldn’t have wanted a public funeral.

It’s ridiculous because he didn’t know the man (even Howard hadn’t known him all that well).

Tony’s never wanted to meet someone- to know someone- as much as he’s wanted with Captain America. It’s not only because of some hero worship that Tony still harbors after all these years, but also because Howard gave away a fair amount of his life towards finding this man; for him to have made such a lasting impression on the late inventor said something about the old captain.

But before he can meet the man, he has to find him and that’s not going to just happen with some research. He needs precision and time and _power_. And Tony- Tony doesn’t have all those things.

He needs those things, and what Tony wants, Tony gets.

So, he builds a machine and throws himself into it, pouring sweat and mind power, locking himself away for so long that he only knows the time of day when Pepper inevitably starts banging on his door, shouting

“Tony, come out and actually eat something! What are you even doing in there?”

He deigns not to answer and she eventually gets the message and stalks away, huffing indignantly.

You know who doesn’t stalk away after being ignored?

Director Nick Fury.

Tony is suitably unimpressed when the man marches into his home, decked in black and already staring at Tony with his beady eye.

“You hacked into SHIELD’s computers again,” He states blandly. “Any particular reason why, Stark?”

For anyone else, his tone would be light, casual. Tony’s been in this business long enough to hear the threat hidden underneath the words, informing him that he better tell the truth or face the consequences.

Tony doesn’t give two fucks about the consequences. He’s been through some terrible shit, and if Fury thinks he can just march in here and threaten Tony then he has another thing coming.

“If you’re not smart enough to figure it out, Nicky-boy, then I don’t think you deserve the answer.” Tony smiles, all teeth and snarl. “C’mon Fury, use those famed hackers of yours and figure it out.”

Fury bristles, pinning Tony with a heated stare before he spins away on his heels and leaves Tony’s mansion with one last twirl of his black coat.

What a dramatic motherfucker.

Tony makes sure to add more upgrades to Jarvis’ security systems, in case Fury actually takes his advice.

Disregarding Fury and Shield in general, Tony actually makes significant leeway in making the machine that will help him find Captain America. It’s big, bigger than it probably should be, but Tony goes all in or all out, there is no in between. 

He knows it’s not a lot but even though he’s not going into this blind, he is going into this with tinted sunglasses that obscure his vision.

He’s planning and digging further when all of it gets blown out of the water because of the Avengers.

Fucking Battle of Manhattan, honestly. You’d think aliens would be polite but no, no one’s even polite to Tony fucking Stark.

He’s more than a little frustrated, as you can see.

So, Loki messes some shit up because of his daddy issues, Clint gets fucked, Natasha is… well Natasha, Bruce is a rage monster, Thor goes through some introspection, and Tony has to fucking deal with all of them while trying not to revert back to alcoholism. 

Also, Coulson dies, but not really (Screw you, Fury!).

Yeah, it’s a bit of a riot, with more than a few of them running around like headless chickens afterwards trying to fix everything.

Tony’s annoyed at the same time as he is… happy?

Happy isn’t really the word he’d used but Tony doesn’t really know how to describe it. He goes from having a few friends to having teammates who live in the tower and mooch of his food.

It’s more than a little disorientating at first.

Bruce becomes his science buddy, Clint is a snarky conversationalist, Natasha steals the food and plays wicked poker, and Thor yells and generally travels around a lot. They’re a crazy, stupid, dysfunctional group of people playing roommates.

Sometimes he feels like he’s in a shittier remake of Friends.

It also begs the question: does he tell them about ‘Operation find Captain America’?

After some debating, he reluctantly decides to tell them. Of course, being science bros, he goes to Bruce first; it may also have something to do with the fact that he still doesn’t trust Shield enough to tell Natasha and Clint.

The conversation with Bruce is interesting, though Tony could have gone with starting it a little better. It goes something like this:

“I have a super-secret and incredibly stupid mission of finding Captain America, you in or not?”

Bruce’s head whips around to stare at him, and if Tony weren’t so nervous, he might have laughed at the flabbergasted look.

“You’re doing what?” Bruce said. “Tony, are you drunk?”

Tony huffs, shaking his head violently. “Look, I know it’s probably a dick move to spring this up on you but I, Tony Stark, am trying to find Captain America.”

Bruce blinks, blinks again, then heaves a giant sigh and asks resignedly, “Do you need my help?”

It sounds kind of like a parent indulging a child, so Tony bursts into action, bringing out his machine and the files, telling Bruce anything and everything while the other man’s eyes slowly widen and a hint of something indecipherable enters his eyes.

“Holy shit,” Bruce whispers, eyes flitting across the papers wildly. “We could do this, oh my God, Tony we could do this!”

Tony whoops, reaching out to clap Bruce excitedly on the shoulder as the other man continues murmuring under his breath, mention logistics and theories.

Things have definitely gotten more interesting. 

* * *

 

Coulson raises an eyebrow sassily- you can see the excitement there, the want and amazement- and Fury curses at him when Tony tells them about Operation Captain America, if only because he doesn’t want Clint and Natasha to do it first.

“You’re a crazy mother fucker, Stark,” Fury says, pinning Tony with such an annoyed stare he has to hold back laughter. “Crazy, mother, fucker.”

Behind him, Coulson coughs into his fist, though if Fury’s look is anything to go by he didn’t do a well enough job of hiding his amusement. Out of the corner of his eye, Tony can see Natasha smirk with her eyes and Clint snort quietly. Bruce simply sighs and raises his eyes to the sky as if asking for help.

Thor chooses that exact moment to descend from Asgard, loudly proclaiming that he will help with finding ‘The Lost Captain’.

Fury barely refrains from banging his head against the table and giving himself a concussion. 

The next day, they begin the manual part of the operation, with all the Avengers tensing in preparation for what is to come. Tony sends the machine to the Arctic and the waiting begins.

It’s the hardest part of the entire process; the waiting with bated breaths to see if the machine will find anything.

The first day is a bust, and the second isn’t much better.

In fact, the whole first two weeks is a disappointment before anything happens.

In the third week, while they lounge around in the living room, it finds something. It finds something pretty damning.

“Sir, I have been notified that the O.C.A.M has encountered something.” Jarvis intones, and words cannot describe how quickly they bound down to the lab, watching the monitors eagerly.

There, on the large screen, is a large, hulking piece of metal. A plane.

“No way,” Clint whispers, breathless. “No fucking way, we did it.”

Tony gratefully doesn’t mention how he did all the work. On screen the O.C.A.M scans the ice around the plane, calculating size while preparing its laser.

“We need to- I need to go.” Tony stutter, putting on his suit.

“Tony, what, we haven’t even found him, you can’t just-“ Bruce’s words are cut off when Tony flies off, racing through the sky faster than what is probably safe.

“Jarvis, tell Pepper to have the private jet ready and sent with all the others on it.”

“Of course, sir.”  

He reaches where the machine is in a record time; it’s still twisting its laser, melting the ice and slowly defrosting the plane.

His breath catches in his chest, and his body stills at the same time as it thrums with excitement. It’s not definite proof that the Captain is even in there but it’s something, and Tony’s not willing to bust the giant balloon of hope that’s lodged in his chest.

The heavy clang of metal falling into the plane makes Tony still, and then he’s a flurry of movement, dropping down into the plane and staring around in wonder at the interior of it, wrecked with frost and heavy snow.

He creeps forward slowly, and when nothing happens, his steps become surer.

“Jarvis, lights.”

Suddenly, it’s much clearer and Tony huffs out a laugh in amazement. He swivels his head around, twirling in a circle as he examines the plane.

The next sight he sees stops him dead in his tracks.

The red star of Captain America’s frost encased shield stares back at him, loud as a beacon. One look at it and Tony has to look away; the sight takes any breath he has left away.

All of his doubts, they’re still there, but this plane and that shield make Tony believe in this operation just a little bit more. The likelihood of finding Captain America has always been shaky, with so many unknowns about the serum and the ever changing Arctic.

Now, though- now he’s so close to accomplishing this that Tony can almost feel it, frost and cold be damned.

The further into the plane he goes the more his heart starts pumping.

Tony Stark just found something Howard Stark hadn’t.

And there, staring back at him, are the youthful features of Steve Rogers, lost in time, face riddled with bruises and cuts and practically fully encased in ice. His blonde hair is frozen in a wild mess around him and the sheer want, the need to touch him, to see if it’s actually him, whole and there.  

So Tony does and promptly shoves his hand back because touching a literal block of ice is not a good idea.

“Well shit. How are we going to get you on the plane?”

No one ever said life was easy.

* * *

 

“It’s actually him.” Clint breathes out, leaning nearer to the frozen captain to get a better look.

“Clint,” Natasha says sharply, and he straightens abruptly, getting away from the machine that’s heating up parts of the ice that are still there and melting them.

He’s mostly melted, with only some parts still encased in ice, and if Natasha didn’t know any better, she’d say he was sleeping, with his slack face and slightly parted lips. The only things that take away from the image are the bruises and cuts, and the lack of chest movement.

Bruce had hooked up Captain America to a heart monitor when they had first melted most of the ice, and when faced with the questioning looks from the other, he had simply shrugged and shared a look with Tony.

“Don’t want him to be buried without proper confirmation.”  

Shaking his head at their antics, Tony wipes some of the left over water, drying up the still man. It was heart stopping, to still look at him and see the face he had only ever seen in old pictures in real life.

“Tony, are you in there?” Pepper’s voice rings out, and Tony’s head whips up, staring at the rest of the Avengers with a deer in headlights look.

“I forgot to tell Pepper about the plan.” He says haltingly, and the rest of them give him shocked looks.

“You forgot to tell Pepper, one of your closest friends, that you found Captain America?” Natasha hisses while shooting a look to Clint, who promptly reaches out and punches Tony in the arm- hard.

“Tony?” Pepper calls again, and when the lab doors slide open, she looks up from her tablet and her face slackens in shock. Her grip on the stylus loosens and it drops to the floor with a sharp clang.

Then, she stumbles forward and says, “Is that Captain America?”

“Yes…” Tony says back weakly, and draw back slightly at the look she gives him.

“You better have a good explanation for this.”


End file.
